Cool Stuff Below

patchworkmurder: fizzyginger: fizzyginger: If Prince Charles’s ringtone isn’t I Just Can’t Wait...

Mon, 17 Jun 2013 20:00:46 -0400

fizzyginger:

fizzyginger:

If Prince Charles’s ringtone isn’t I Just Can’t Wait to be King then what’s the point

I don’t know why this post is suddenly back, but if it hits 100k I’m buying myself a milkshake.

Go get that milkshake you deserve it.

imperialdalek:

Mon, 17 Jun 2013 16:01:05 -0400

imperialdalek:

"One: Buy condoms. Buy them and keep them with you at all times, and use them before you are asked to..."

Tue, 11 Jun 2013 17:53:00 -0400

“One: Buy condoms. Buy them and keep them with you at all times, and use them before you are asked to use them. And use them every time. The peace of mind you allow your partner will free her to be vulnerable with you, and that, my son, is exactly what sex is about. Condoms are sexy. In fact, call buying condoms foreplay.
(Footnote: If you are too embarrassed to buy condoms, you are not ready to have sex.)

Two: Kissing is not merely foreplay. Spend entire evenings making out on the couch while fully clothed. Believe me, dry-humping rocks.

Three: Sex is not just about friction. It’s about emotion. Stop trying to find her clitoris and find her heart. Because then she’ll help you find her clitoris.

Four: If you really wanna know how to please a woman, ask her how she masturbates. Then do that. A lot. If she claims she doesn’t masturbate, offer to take her shopping for a vibrator so you can both learn the vocabulary of her body together.

Five: Don’t put anything in her butthole you wouldn’t want in your own.
(Footnote: Try a pinky finger, it’s kinda awesome.)

Six: When you go down on her—and you will go down on her, and if you are my son, you will be amazing at it—tell her how good she tastes. Stop in the middle and kiss her deeply so she knows how good she tastes. Do the same when she goes down on you.

Seven: A simple Google search will yield 1,327 euphemisms for male masturbation, yet only 23 for female masturbation. If guys spent less time jacking off and more time jilling off, this world would be a happier place.

Eight: Everything you need to know about the importance of the clitoris is in the movie Star Wars. You are Luke Skywalker piloting your penis-shaped X-Wing Fighter deep inside her trench. Remember: seventy percent of all Death Stars cannot be blown up through penetration of the trench alone. It must be through focused contact with that little exhaust port at the top of the trench. Otherwise, any explosions you experience will be merely Hollywood special effects.

Nine: Just because you come doesn’t mean she has, so don’t you dare come before her. Focus completely on your partner. Don’t worry about gettin’ yours, you’re a guy. You always get yours. Your job is to make sure she’s gettin’ hers.

Ten: If sex with your partner lasts no longer than this poem, you are not making love. You are masturbating with her body instead of your hand. Shame on you. Go back to step one. You’ve got a lot of learning to do.
Love, Dad.”

- Big Poppa E., “How To Make Love” (via fawun)

insertcleverusernamehere: ciarachimera: escapeexpectations: r...

Tue, 11 Jun 2013 17:47:25 -0400

insertcleverusernamehere:

ciarachimera:

escapeexpectations:

raving-rachael:

What if all the Disney princes and princesses were gay? And then, what if they all sang mash-ups of Disney songs and pop-hits, and did choreographed dancing to those mash-ups? Would you like to see that?

Well, your wish has been granted.

And, +10 points to the creators for including a Mean Girls reference.

I think this is the 6th time I’ve reblogged this

This is literally the best fucking thing I have ever seen.

I think I just died and went to Heaven for 6 minutes and 34 seconds.

Photo

Tue, 11 Jun 2013 17:43:08 -0400

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Tue, 11 Jun 2013 17:42:19 -0400

knownasthesazzyone: selfish-cunts: dqdbpb: angelina jolie’s daughter and gwen stefani’s...

Tue, 11 Jun 2013 17:41:54 -0400

knownasthesazzyone:

selfish-cunts:

dqdbpb:

angelina jolie’s daughter

and gwen stefani’s son

both so cute

Parenting done right

LOOKIT THOSE CUTIES

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Mon, 10 Jun 2013 20:00:47 -0400

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Mon, 10 Jun 2013 16:00:55 -0400

nataliemeansnice: breakfast just got a lot easier

Sun, 09 Jun 2013 20:00:40 -0400

nataliemeansnice:

breakfast just got a lot easier

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Sun, 09 Jun 2013 16:00:57 -0400

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Sat, 08 Jun 2013 20:00:36 -0400

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Sat, 08 Jun 2013 16:00:53 -0400

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Fri, 07 Jun 2013 20:00:24 -0400

Hey Pheebs, you want to help?

Fri, 07 Jun 2013 16:00:41 -0400

Hey Pheebs, you want to help?

I can’t deal with these girls. Too adorable. Just passed...

Thu, 06 Jun 2013 22:43:35 -0400

I can’t deal with these girls. Too adorable. Just passed 12 weeks old!
(L-R: Tilly, Fleur, Wimberly.)

unabating: go away i dont want to talk to you

Thu, 06 Jun 2013 20:00:28 -0400

unabating:

go away i dont want to talk to you

Photo

Thu, 06 Jun 2013 16:00:45 -0400

manhattanmidnights: ipaintyouwings: causethechicksdigit: tard...

Wed, 05 Jun 2013 20:00:38 -0400

manhattanmidnights:

ipaintyouwings:

causethechicksdigit:

tardismyoldgirl:

diaryofajohnlockian:

iwanttoseethestarsdoctor:

chaise-the-red-nosed-chair:

merriemelodie:

This animation is absolutely glorious. Just take a moment to appreciate that this was all done by somebody’s hand; that they slaved over this, and this was the result of a human, not a computer. It’s completely perfect.

are we not gonna talk about the fact that the reflection is Ariel and Prince Eric?

Holy shit

wait… but Sleeping Beauty came out in 1959, and The Little Mermaid came out in 1989…. that’s a 30 year foreshadow….

Disney you clever bastards.

oh my gosh

i-am-the-oracular-spectacular: Best image ever.

Wed, 05 Jun 2013 16:00:43 -0400

i-am-the-oracular-spectacular:

Best image ever.