bruh. game over. she’s marrying that guy and having really talented artistic babies.

(Source:, via the-absolute-funniest-posts)

3 minutes ago 865896
7 minutes ago 299684



(via aquaman2-0)

14 minutes ago 101
Queue, mmm,

(Source: impactings, via theforth)

14 minutes ago 112251



Oh these pies aren’t homemade, they were made in a factory.

A bomb factory.

They’re bombs.

who the fuck thought up the plot for this episode

(via the-absolute-funniest-posts)

16 minutes ago 389680


ordering pizza online is the best technological advancement since the internet itself

(Source: disloyals, via fruityfonzie)

19 minutes ago 224489

(Source: peterquill, via elliottreid)

3 hours ago 104650
3 hours ago 200133




The turtle cavalry is serious shit

"Onward, alligator steed!"
"I’m a crocodile."
"Silence, water horse!"

I demand this to be on everyone’s blog.

(Source: animals-riding-animals, via ruric)

3 hours ago 232651
Harry Potter at the end of every school year: I came to have a good time and I'm honestly feeling so attacked right now
3 hours ago 66730

Anonymous said: What's the most illegal thing you ever did?


At Stanford there was this Professor who was a total bitch and she taught British Literature, which was cool. Except she taught only her opinions of the books and it didn’t help me as a writer. I went to school to learn new things to improve my craft, not have someone else’s opinions carved onto my forehead.

So anyway, for our final project, she asked us to write a ten page paper on why the color symbolism in Othello was so significant. I did some research and it turned out that she did her entire graduate thesis on this very subject. I was mad. This wasn’t teaching, this was boosting her ego. SO I wrote a ten page essay on why color symbolism in Othello wasn’t significant, satirizing it to the point of no return, saying that her opinion was an opinion and shouldn’t be taken seriously.

SHe failed me, needless to say. So in retaliation, I responded by baking a batch of brownies laced with weed and laxatives and delivered them myself to the professor hours before her big graduation speech. I told her that it was a peace offering, my way of apologizing and asking if I could do anything to fix my grade.

She refused to fix my grade.

In the end, she shit herself on stage.

I didn’t regret it.

3 hours ago 178800


i met Miley Cyrus two weeks ago or something and she refused to sign my Hannah Montana CD

she told me it wasn’t funny 

(via weirdvoices)

3 hours ago 282403